Genuine question, was this written by a scared elementary school kid?

All the words are there at least. I checked

C for consistent?

Yeah, they’re perfectly good. They probably didn’t want to solve a storage problem and did that

Put up another huge sign saying

"WE DON"T OWN A DOG"

My ex-wife would buy men's jeans, just because of the bigger pockets.

So I work in a peanut facility that sells some of its rejects to a place that makes bird feed. Let me chime in. The peanuts we sell off for animal feed have never touched the floor but they have been rejected due to high aflatoxin or discoloration. Some are also raw so you have a chance of getting salmonella from them. You probably have a greater chance of running into foreign material such as plastic, wood, or even glass.

I would not touch them, personally. I worked in hospital IT for 6 years and I’m certain it’s never been disinfected.

Next step, paint a doorknob on it.

18% - $9.32

20% - $10.36

22% - $11.39

I think lying on a receipt as a proof of contract should be a form of fraud.

You should post this in the Los Angeles subreddit. They have an "Offenders List" for restaurants that do this.

I got hacked on instagram once. Apparently you can follow 100s of people in one sitting, but can’t unfollow them..

Peel the tape down and use it to pull the package out

The purpose of those things is to keep children occupied for as long as possible.

Mission: accomplished!

I thought you meant you somehow just noticed this lovely picture on the tile. Ha!

Is it infuriating because it’s cliche or that it should be in reverse to read as you walk up?

The real reason the prior owners moved out

My poltergeist - I mean spouse - does this as well. Some days it is more than MILDLY infuriating.

I’d deal with the size 13 for that price difference

Yeah this would piss me off. How does one constantly break chargers? And how does he break his but never yours? Sounds like he might use yours out of convenience.

Blue for like a sunny blue sky. White like the piercing shine of a cold winter’s moon.

That’s how they taught us in pharmacy school.

I used to work at Michaels and can guarantee that either an employer accidentally caught the tape at the bottom and some fell out or some fell out in the shipping box. Should have put a new tag on it

My neighbors installed a motion activated floodlight. Except it’s the single most sensitive motion sensor ever so it just continually turns on and off every 10 seconds and shines directly into our bedroom. Black out curtains don’t even help.

So it goes to the staff for equitable pay? Isn't that what the tip is?

It's like the saying goes.. If the service is free, then you are the product being sold.

I’ll trade you half your pinks for all of my oranges 🍊

Its still good. You've got a tongue, lap that sht up

Maybe change your heads a little more often than once every 700 years and this won’t happen.

This is hilarious.